Ramblings of a Silly Girl

First Anniversary (cont'd)

2012-01-21T08:08:00.000-08:00

Just in case you guys were wondering, our day was perfect.

I was taken by surprise by how emotional I was from the moment I woke up...I just felt overwhelmed by my happiness and the fact that somehow I'd just been allowed to spend an entire year married to the love of my life. I couldn't help but laugh at myself when I started crying as I snuggled up to JP and wished him a happy anniversary.

We went ahead and exchanged gifts before we even got out of bed. We'd decided that we would give each other the traditional anniversary gifts each year. (Everyone knows the 25th anniversary gift is silver and the 50th is gold, but there are others for years 1-15, then for every fifth year after that. You can view the traditional and modern lists here, and we went the traditional route.) So the first year is paper. JP made me a couple of origami hearts and painted them, plus an origami heart-lined picture frame that we plan to put on the fridge once we get some magnetic strips. I made him a "love jar" (although I didn't have any jars sitting around, so I used a Valentine's Day drink mixer) where I cut up pieces of paper that have things I love about him written on them so he can take one out and read one whenever he wants.

After that, we spent the day being lazy. We'd just bought the Lego Pirates of the Caribbean game (we LOVE the Lego games) so we played that all day. Then that evening we got dressed up and went to our favorite Italian restaurant in Times Square. Of course we had to visit the statue of George M Cohan in the middle of Times Square where we got engaged. It was nice since the tourists are all gone now. :-)

All in all, it was a very lovely day.

Love

2012-01-16T07:30:00.000-08:00

"I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives." -The Holiday

That line right there is probably one of the major reasons why The Holiday is my favorite movie. It is so true for me. I'm a hopeless romantic at heart and I'm constantly aware of how love (or the lack of it) shapes people and the world around them. Love can be perceived but not truly felt. It can be withheld. Love can be lost, and not always by both parties at once.

I've been in love for more than 2 years, and I in no way consider myself an expert on the subject. However, I do feel like I've learned a lot about love in the past 12 months. Have you heard about the five love languages? They're the five main ways that we show and like to receive love: words of affirmation, touch, quality time, gifts, and acts of service. I've heard about these all my life pretty much thought everyone should know about them and focus on them. When JP and I first got married, we decided to take the quiz, thinking that it would help us to know more about each other.

It was fun to do and the results were interesting, but not long after that day I realized something. The way that I want to be loved most varies day to day. The result I got that first day was not the same result I would have gotten a week later. It became pretty clear to me that even though these love languages are interesting to learn about and to be aware of, they are not the be-all and end-all of loving relationships. The key is balance. Don't discover your spouse loves acts of service, then proceed to lose focus on encouraging them or spending quality time with them. By the same token, don't be upset when your spouse doesn't show you love using only the option you scored most on - you have to look at what else they're doing to show their love to you instead of focusing on the one way you've decided to expect.

www.mollymcgaughey.com

This is all leading up to today's special occasion. It's mine and JP's one year anniversary. Yep. We've been married a whole year. It truly is a milestone. The year has been a rough one outside of our marriage - a year ago, I would not have been able to imagine just how much I would come to rely on JP's quiet love and support. I know I've had my extremely crazy moments of freaking out, but he always has a way of calming me down, whether he's lending balance to my frame of mind or validating my freak out moment with other words of wisdom. This year has truly made JP my family and I can't imagine my life without him.

So in light of these things I've learned about love in general, here are some ways JP has shown me love this past year. They're little things, but little things that spoke to me and made me feel loved.

- He's willing to walk home barefoot for me. One night we were getting home late after a night of dancing and I had been wearing heels that were killing my feet. It was too late to catch a bus from the subway, so we decided to walk it, but I was really having a hard time. JP offered to walk home barefoot so that I could wear his shoes. (Side note: He's offered many times since too, but it's never been bad enough for me to have to do that again.)

- He gives me the pickles from his Chickfila sandwich. He hates pickles (weird, right?) and I love them. He used to get the sandwiches without pickles, but now he gets them so I can have them. Yeah, I know that I could get pickles on the side, but it's not the same. I love that he just started doing it without saying anything.

- He makes phone calls. I HATE making phone calls. JP doesn't care for it either, but he's always willing to call to order food, to call our landlord with questions...anything that requires a phone call, he'll do it.

- He does random, silly internet things for me while I'm at work. When I found out I could get into Pottermore early, I was at work. I asked JP if he would go on to see if he could do it for me, and before I knew it I had a Pottermore screen name. Back when I played a lot of Facebook games, he would harvest stuff and gather coins for me while I was at work. (I'm aware this makes me sound obsessive...the point is he's willing to put up with it and help me out.)

- He understands that Colby and I are crazy together. He refers to her as my wife and understands that our relationship is a little...codependent. He puts up with the fact that sometimes we're going to obsess over little things and sometimes I'm going to annoy him by chattering about stuff he doesn't care about. But he respects us and what we have. Or maybe he just puts up with it. :-)

- In the same vein, he's willing to help me with videos. The first time I wanted to film some segments for one of Colby's videos, he rolled his eyes at me and laughed. But when we actually did it, he was into it and throwing out suggestions. We had fun shooting the segments together. Another time, he didn't even understand what I told him I was doing. He just set up the camera and shot it for me.

- He shops with me in the rain. There was one particular day that was going to give us plenty of time to shop for Christmas gift and it ended up raining all day. But he was a trooper, going everywhere I needed to and offering to carry bags.

- Those random moments when he says, "I'm so glad we're married." I know we're still newlyweds and this may not last forever. But I love it when we're doing something random like watching TV or cooking dinner and then he turns to me with this certain look on his face and says, "I'm so glad we're married," or "I'm so happy you're my wife." My heart jumps every time.

Here's to many more years with the man I love.

Turkey Day

2011-11-26T11:21:00.000-08:00

Our first Thanksgiving as a married couple was a huge success.

My aunt Carla was in town, so she and I got up at 4:45am to go to the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade. The parade was amazing - my experience was so much better than last year, where I got stuck at the back of the crowd on a side street by myself. This year, we were right in front, on the side where the sun wasn't in our eyes, right up against the rail. We were able to high five people in the parade.
Plus, Kermit was there!It's actually very weird for me to see Muppets in real life because I really do feel like they're real and I feel like I'm seeing an actual celebrity in real life.

Anyhow, after the parade Carla and I headed home to nap and cook. When we got there, JP had already moved the living room furniture around and set the table and it was GORGEOUS. (Side note: That brown tablecloth? Yeah...it's a bed sheet. How awesome is that?) This is the first time we used our wedding china, which was so exciting. (Of course, several jokes were made about the episode of Friends when Monica is such a freak about her wedding china.) JP was also already working on the turkey. We arranged the flowers we'd gotten and set out the chocolate Thanksgiving-themed lollipops straight from Jacques Torres.

Our friends brought delicious food to go with our turkey, dressing, and roasted green beans. Molly brought squash casserole, her sister Katie brought sweet potato casserole, and Harper brought apple dumplings and pumpkin pie. It was all so delicious.

The whole day was far more perfect than I could have imagined. It really made me realize how thankful I truly am for the friends I have here and the life I have with my husband. I had a defining moment during dinner (I describe it as my movie moment). JP and I were sitting at the head and foot of the table (another first!) and at one point everyone at the table was laughing really hard about something. So there we are surrounded by friends who love us and the sound of their laughter and JP catches my eye across the table and gives me a little wink. Now JP will probably read this and roll his eyes at my sentimentality, but for me...it was just one of those awesome moments when you feel such a rush of happiness and contentment with your life.

I hope your Thanksgiving brought you happiness as well. Now on to the Christmas season!

Internet Etiquette

2011-10-25T19:57:00.000-07:00

I was recently accused of poor etiquette on the internet. By a stranger, no less. Now I'm not perfect and I'm aware that my negative Slytherin attributes do show up every once in a while. However, I also know a lot about etiquette on the internet. Here are some things that are just plain annoying to come across.

Whining that you don't have time to post...in a post. You had time to post that you don't have time to post. If you really don't have time to post on your blog, then just stay off your computer.

Along the same lines...if you post fiction in a public forum, please don't introduce it by talking about how crappy it is. Don't whine and say you're such an awful writer and your stories are crappy, etc. Just put it out there and let it speak for itself. Especially if it's mostly your friends reading it anyway.

Going by a fake name. Don't get me wrong, I understand using a pseudonym for professional reasons. But using a "nickname" that you've given yourself (when no one in real life uses it for you, well, because it doesn't even fit you as a nickname) in conjunction with your real name (so it's not exactly to protect your identity, right?) is just juvenile.
Acting like you care about someone online then ditching them in real life. This just looks like you're more active online than in the real world.

Posting something you read in a forwarded email as though it's fact. Come on, people. Don't be stupid.

What about you? Any crazy stuff you've seen that's just really irritating here on the world wide web?

Stuck in my head.

2011-10-09T09:28:00.000-07:00

Do you get songs stuck in your head? I find it fascinating that this happens. I don't know if it's the same for you, but I tend to hear really random songs that I haven't listened to in forever. Some days I'll have just one or two songs that hang out in my head. Other days...it's like someone made a playlist for a 10 hour road trip and pieces of every single song are played in my head. I don't get it.

So here's what I did. I decided to start making note of which songs showed up throughout the day. I did it a few of days of this week. A couple of days I only wrote down 2-4 songs. No big deal. But other days I had a whole list. So I picked the longest list to share with you. Oh and the list ALWAYS starts in the shower. I've never taken a shower without humming a song. I give you the songs in my head on October 4.

1. At This Moment - Michael Buble
Michael usually shows up on every list. I probably listen to him more often than any other band or singer (with Harry Connick, Jr, being a close second.

2. Fancy - Reba McEntire
Truthfully, I have NO idea where this came from. I couldn't tell you the last time I actually heard this song.

3. The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia - Reba McEntire
For some reason, this song and Fancy always seem to go hand in hand in my brain. I can't think of one without thinking about the other.

4. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Theme Song
Um, yeah. Not a clue.

5. I'm Coming Home - Michael Buble
See? More Michael.

6. The Ballad of Sweeney Todd
I'm guessing this was hovering around because I'd been watching The Office in the last week or so and there's an episode where Andy is in Sweeney Todd. But I'd watched it days before this day.

7. Beautiful - Christina Aguilera
???? I don't own ANY of her music and again, can't remember the last time I heard this song.

8. My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion
Ok here's one I can explain. I still reminisce about my awesome honeymoon most days. It was a cruise to Alaska. There were some bad weather days, and also icebergs/chunks of ice in the water (because it's Alaska), so we talked about Titanic a lot. So NOW whenever I think about my honeymoon, this song inevitably gets stuck in my head. It showed up on lists from other days.

9. Never Fully Dressed without a Smile - from the musical Annie
Don't know.

10. A song from the movie The Holiday. I don't know which song it was, but it was definitely one that was part of the score, not a song with words.

So there you have it. These all came while I was at work, because of lot of my work days are filled with me doing tests where I don't have to think a lot and so my mind is free to wander. The days with shorter lists were the days where I worked in the clinic, which meant I was actually talking to people the whole time (my brain was too focused on talking and writing, etc.). Once I leave work, I read my kindle on the way home, then usually watch tv and talk to JP before going to bed.

Oh and I'd also like to point out that sometimes I have two songs try to mesh together when they definitely shouldn't. For example, on this day, these lyrics were stuck in my head at some point: "Here's your one chance, Fancy, don't let me down...when the evil Shredder attacks, them turtle boys don't cut him no slack!"

So what songs get stuck in YOUR head?

Kayaking? In NYC?

2011-09-03T20:31:00.000-07:00

Yes, that's right. Today I went kayaking in NYC. My friend Molly has been wanting to go so we went. JP and I were running a little late (of course) so by the time we got to the pier Molly and my other friend Katie had already gone out once. I was a little turned off to the idea by how soaked they were from the waist down, but I ended up doing it anyway since I did drag myself out of the apartment just for that reason.

So there are 3 (I believe) piers along the Hudson River where free kayaking is offered. We went to Riverside Park on 72nd St. Also, there's a long pier nearby for people to go hang out on that I'm really glad to know is there. It's a pretty gorgeous place to just chill and enjoy being next to the water. And there's a cafe that serves snacks, meals, beer, coffee...pretty great. But I digress. Back to free kayaking...

All you have to do is sign a waiver that will last you the year (you don't have to sign one every time you go), put on a life jacket, and you're good to go. If you have stuff you don't want getting wet (i.e. your purse, your phone, your wallet), they have lockers you can use that are also free. The kayaks aren't legit kayaks, because they're open. You're not tucking your legs inside something, so it's a lot safer if you've never gotten into a real kayak before.

Now, you'll definitely get your backside wet. There's no escaping it. I'd recommend wearing something besides denim - something that will dry quickly. But unless you're purposely slinging water everywhere because you think it's fun (and as long as you don't try really hard to flip your kayak), you can probably tuck your phone or camera into the front of your life jacket so you can take pictures...or text people to make them jealous.

So if you're bored and broke on a nice day, this can be something fun to do. I did have fun, but I must admit I got kind of bored with it. You have to stay within the set boundaries so that you don't end up down the river and out into the ocean. I'm used to being on a fast moving river where the scenery is constantly changing. Here, I just rode around in circles and got excited the couple of times waves came in. Otherwise...eh.

Ultimately, I'd go again. It's something different to do, especially if you're wanting to escape being in the city. And once again...it's FREE. That's a major draw. And when you're with good people, it will always be fun.

Naturally disastrous.

2011-08-27T09:40:00.000-07:00

I've had a lot of people ask me about the earthquake and Hurricane Irene, so I thought I'd go through some details now.

Yes, I was home on Tuesday and yes, I felt the earthquake. JP and I were sitting on the couch and I snapped at him to please stop jiggling his foot because it was making the whole couch shake. He pointed out that he wasn't moving at all. That's when we noticed the liquid in our drinks sloshing, the blinds swaying, and our tall floor fan was wobbling back and forth. Because an earthquake was the furthest thing from my mind, I automatically assumed it had something to do with the fact that DirecTV had been drilling into our building that morning. But since JP is smart, he immediately said, no I think that might have been an earthquake. Yeah, he's the smart one in this relationship.

So now everyone is in a tizzy about Hurricane Irene. Lots of people have asked me if we're evacuating and/or what are we doing to prepare. The answer is no, we're not evacuating. We live in the middle of Queens, and according to the maps that show all the different zones (Zone A being the most at risk for flooding and other damage), we're not actually listed in any of the zones. So we have plenty of water, our stove is gas so we should be able to cook soup, etc., and if the wind ends up looking like it could shatter windows, we can hunker down in our windowless kitchen and hallway. We have flashlights and candles. Also, we'll fill our tub with water, so we'll be able to flush no matter what.

I personally don't think it's gonna be quite as bad as everyone here is thinking. I started following @NYCMayorsOffice on Twitter and I swear its sole purpose is to freak everyone out. For example, this was a picture they posted this morning and I'm posting it with the original tweet that accompanied it.


These are the kinds of boats used in Katrina. You don't want to end up in one. If you need to evacuate, do so now.

Also, the MTA has shut down all the subways and buses as of noon today. So now we just wait. Looking out the window, it's definitely getting darker and the sky is getting grayer. I'm very curious to see how it's all gonna go down. I'll try to keep everyone updated via Facebook.

Love you all - don't worry about us!

Pink is still my favorite color.

2011-08-23T09:27:00.000-07:00

Last Wednesday I asked a doctor at work to take a look at my eye. My left eye had been sore since the night before and I wanted to make sure it wasn't a chalazion (a bump that forms on your eyelid, as a result of clogged oil glands). Here's how the conversation went:

Doc: Hmm...yeah...that's conjunctivitis [pink eye].
Me: What?! Really?
Doc: Yep. And it's in both eyes. Your right eye hasn't been bothering you?
Me: No! Not at all. So...I guess this means I need to go home, right?
Doc: Uh...yeah. You need to go home for a week.

Conjunctivitis is extremely contagious, and since I work in an eye care facility, they take extreme precautions. So, I got to stay at home for a week. It's actually been pretty great spending time with JP. Lots of time spent on Tumblr, watching Law & Order: SVU and NCIS, and watching some movies here and there. Good times. But back to work tomorrow.

The Blanks at Highline Ballroom

2011-08-17T17:53:00.000-07:00

My most recent escapade in NYC involved seeing a band called The Blanks. Have you ever watched the show Scrubs? Remember Ted's a cappella band? They are a real band and they've existed since before Scrubs. Oh yeah, and also, they're amazing.

Me with Sam Lloyd (Ted, from Scrubs)

The concert was at Highline Ballroom. If you're ever in NYC (or you live in NYC and enjoy going to events here) you should definitely try to attend something at this venue. There are two levels, the bottom level easily converted to a dance floor. But for this night, there were tables set up downstairs, just like upstairs. We were in close quarters with other tables (and in some instances, strangers were seated together), but it somehow still felt intimate.

JP and me with The Blanks

The menu definitely has some pricey items, but luckily they also have some cheaper stuff to choose from. We went with a bunch of "small bites," small portions of food for $5 apiece. Two chicken tacos, a cheese plate, coconut shrimp, and spring rolls. And all DELICIOUS. Beware though...if you want water, specify you don't want it in a bottle. And if you order a Coke, refills are not free. There IS a full bar though.

And now I leave with a video. It's The Blanks singing Superman, by Lazlo Bane, theme from Scrubs. For more videos from the concert, visit my YouTube channel.

Top 6 favorite movies.

2011-08-12T21:35:00.000-07:00

We all have different things we do for ourselves when we're down. I have a few different things I like to turn to...bubble baths, wine, puzzles...but my favorite thing to do is watch a movie.

But not just any movie. I have a handful of movies that I choose from and they are ranked.

6. The Chipmunk Adventure. Growing up, we had this movie on VHS and we watched it all the time.
Favorite Scene/Song: The Girls and Boys of Rock and Roll
Favorite Line: Brittany: I don't care how important he is, how powerful he is, how rich he is... by the way, how rich is he?

5. The Llama Movie (actually known as The Emperor's New Groove). I saw this movie in the theatre with a good friend of mine and it was love at first sight.
Favorite Scene/Song: When Kronk bursts into Yzma's tent and is startled by her mud mask. Close second: When Kronk goes to dispose of Kuzco and has his own theme music.
Favorite Line: Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Reason number two. Look what I can do. Ha-ha, ha!
[does one-armed handstand]
Kronk: But what does that have to do with anything?
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: No, no. He's got a point.

4. Cats Don't Dance. I mean, come one. It's a bunch of animals singing and dancing. Win.
Favorite Scene/Song: Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now. Close second: Big and Loud
Favorite Line: Danny: If we all work together, we can make our dreams come true. Let's show the world what we can do.

3. Annie. Another childhood favorite. I went through a time of watching it every single day. I knew every word and every dance move.
Favorite Scene/Song: Little Girls. Close second: We Got Annie. Close third: Easy Street.
Favorite Line: Lily: I beg your pardon, I'm sure, but I don't stoop to what you're incineratin'.

2. Cinderella Favorite Disney princess. The end.
Favorite Scene/Song: So This is Love
Favorite Line: Cinderella: [to the clock tower chiming] Oh, that clock! Old killjoy. I hear you. "Come on, get up," you say, "Time to start another day." Even he orders me around. Well, there's one thing. They can't order me to stop dreaming.

1. The Holiday At age 21, I did not think any movie could usurp Cinderella for my favorite movie after a lifetime of Cinderella holding first place. Then came The Holiday.
Favorite Scene/Song: When Amanda joins Graham and his girls in their tent. Close second: When Miles joins Iris' Hanukkah party. Close third: When Miles and Iris go to Blockbuster.
Favorite Line: Miles: Iris, if you were a melody... I used only the good notes.

What's your favorite go-to movie?

I don't always love NY.

2011-08-08T18:54:00.000-07:00

I'm aware that I tend to gush a lot about how great New York is. I truly do love it. But I thought you might like a little dose of reality. What would you say if I told you it's not all rainbows and unicorns all the time? Here are some things that I don't <3 about NY.

1. The smell. NY has a very distinct smell. I've mentioned it to other New Yorkers, and their reply is usually, "Oh yeah, it's the smell of trash." But I can't quite agree. The smell unpleasant and slightly trashy, yes, but there's more to it than that. There's no other way to explain it, except it just smells like...New York. In fact, when I brought it up to my friend Molly recently, she said to her it just smells like home now. Those of you who have yet to visit, don't worry. You don't smell it constantly or anything. Even if you do smell it as soon as you get here, you get used to it really fast.

2. The heat. It's a lot hotter in Georgia than it is here, and for that I'm grateful. However, when it's in the 90s in Georgia, you usually walk from your air conditioned house to an air conditioned car, then go inside to your air conditioned destination. When it's in the 90s in New York, I have to walk from my non-air conditioned apartment to a bus that may or may not be air conditioned, then go underground to at station where it's hotter and stuffier than outside and sweat rolls down your back. Then you get on a subway train that may or may not be air conditioned. Then you have to walk however many blocks to your destination, which, thank God, is probably air conditioned. Let's just suffice it to say that the heat sucks up here. Which leads me to my next dislike...

3. No central air. We have a window unit in our bedroom because we couldn't sleep without it. But our living room only has a ceiling fan and a recently acquired standing fan. These do not make up for air conditioning. At all. If the temp gets up to the high 80s or worse, then JP and I just have to sweat it out on the couch or, on really bad days, hang out in the bedroom.

4. Poop in the subway. No, don't reread it - you got it right the first time. I have only seen this is one particular station - the one next to my work. Usually it's done over a vent halfway down the staircase. Sometimes you know it's there before you see it, other times someone has already covered it with sand. I'm pretty sure it's the same homeless guy I see hanging around down there pretty much every day.

5. TV shows are scarier. Law & Order: SVU is one of my favorite TV shows. I still watch it all the time, but now it hits home a lot harder. Every time they mention a specific address, I know exactly where it is now. I'm just saying...it's freaky.

6. Chick-fil-A. Come on, people, it's a given. If you know me, you started this blog knowing this was coming. I've bought a bus ticket to go into Jersey to find a Chick-fil-A. It's a hard-knock life.

7. Crowds. It's really crowded here. I know, big surprise. Sometimes I get really tired of seeing people EVERYWHERE. Especially when tourists hit up the big city during the summer. I pretty much avoid the major sites when summer comes around. Fuggedaboutit.

8. Jacked up prices. At Olive Garden, they've been advertising carbonara ravioli with chicken for $10.95, but when we had it we paid $15.95. It's like this with all chains, groceries, everything.

9. Health crazed. I'm all for eating healthy and taking care of yourself. But people are crazy about it up here. Calories are posted at almost every single restaurant or eatery, even chains like McDonald's. And organic food stores are all over the place. Maybe it's just me being stuck in my southern roots of fried foods and sweet tea, but I just really dislike being inundated with the superiority of it all. (Now, Jean, if you read this, don't be offended. You do not annoy me with health food stuff. ;-)

10. Missing friends and family. I miss each and every person I left down south every single day!!

So there you have a short list of dislikes. But believe me, everything I love about this amazing city far outweighs this puny little list. Ultimately, I <3 NY!!

Choices.

2011-06-04T15:36:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the choices we make in life. Life is full of choices. What seems like a bad choice can lead to good. And what seems like a good choice can lead to bad. How do we know the difference? How can we judge people based on their choices when we don't know what they're going through or why they made that choice? How do we know what seems like a horrible decision isn't actually the best decision they could make? Who's to say you wouldn't make the same exact choice if you were in their shoes?

I grew up believing that life hands you a few Major Choices that will change the course of your life. Choices like whether or not to go to college, which college to go to, what career path to take, who you marry, whether or not/when to have kids, where to settle and put down roots. I also fully believed that you should make these Major Choices based on how much happiness they will bring you. Which, in part, is true. But this takes me back to the fact that your choice might seem like the best way to make you happy right now, but then later on you might realize it was the worst possible choice you could have made, and vice versa. In the moment, there's no possible way to know if you're doing the right thing or choosing the right path. Which leads me to my new modified belief...

The major choices you make in life do not directly correlate to your happiness. The only choice that directly correlates to your happiness is choosing whether or not to be happy. Happiness is a choice all in itself. Now I'm putting aside the extreme cases, like the fact that someone might have an actual chemical imbalance that causes depression, or someone who is in a physically harmful situation...for the average person, happiness is a choice. Period. Even when you're going through your darkest hour, you don't have to give up everything and quit. Find joy in the little things that aren't affected by the darkness.

One choice that I have made that a lot of people don't consider one of the Major Choices, is to not treat friendships lightly. I've seen other people go through friends like some women go through purses. They love them at first and go everywhere with them, but after a while they get bored and toss them aside for a new friend. At some point I made a conscious decision not to do that, despite those hurdles that every friendship goes through:

I chose to stick by a friend when they chose to enter into a damaging relationship that I didn't understand, and it made us stronger than ever.

I chose a friendship with someone after I'd been led to believe that they weren't a good person...by someone who really wasn't a good person...and we became closer than I had ever been with the not-so-good person. :-)

I chose not to let something that hurt my feelings damage a friendship that I truly valued and I still can't imagine a life without that friendship.

I chose to pursue a friendship with someone who was quiet and a little shy, but was rewarded when they turned out to be one of the most fun people I know.

I chose to have a relationship with someone who doesn't share all of the same beliefs I have, and in return that relationship has opened me up to a love beyond my wildest dreams.

This blog isn't about religion or relying on God to see you through things. It's about the little choices you make every day that shape your life and your happiness.

I'm a big kid now.

2011-04-12T16:59:00.000-07:00

I'm 25 years old. In legal terms, I've been an adult for 7 years. But for some reason, over the past couple months, I've felt more adult than ever.

1. I got married. That's a pretty adult thing to do, right? I know we were living together for a year beforehand. And I have friends who say they didn't feel any different after getting married. But not me. I most definitely felt different. I made a huge commitment! I chose to commit myself to the man I love for the rest of my life and that is exhilarating. There are still moments that take my breath away when I realize all over again that I'm lucky enough to spend my days with JP.

2. I got a new job. Sure, working any job is very "adult-like," but realizing you're unhappy and then taking steps to secure a new and better job is even more adult-like. It's amazing how much your job can impact your life. I'm an easy-going person and I'm a good worker. But at my last job, I was so unhappy. I used to leave work depressed and would wonder what I was doing here. I was miserable. So I took control of my life and found a new job - now I'm working at a hospital with out-of-this-world benefits, I can afford medical AND dental insurance for me AND JP, and I'm happy. I enjoy my job. Now I leave work happy and excited to be living in NYC again. (Oh and I wear a lab coat and get to have a locker. WIN.)

3. I cook. No, even more than that...I like to cook. One of my favorite things to do in my down time is look up new tasty recipes to try. My recent successes include fried zucchini, zucchini pasta, shortbread cookies, cinnamon rolls, chicken teryaki, fried chicken nuggets... It's so. Much. Fun.

4. My wardrobe has subtly shifted. I mean, I still wear a lot of the same stuff, but lately when I buy clothes it's different. I buy tops that are a little more loose fitting and I buy dress pants (and think I might would actually wear them outside of work). I like it.

So yeah. Here's to being married for 86 days. And acting like an adult.

Christmastime is here!!

2010-11-28T11:25:00.000-08:00

Christmas has come. To New York City.

[Huge, long side note: In my head I phrased those two sentences the same way Ms. Gupta phrases her famous line from Princess Diaries. She answers the phone and says, "Gupta...mm-hm...mm-hm...mm-hm.......The queen is coming. To Grove High School."]

Anyway, back to Christmas. It's awesome. Everywhere I go there are decorations, big and small. And it's COLD. Yesterday I went into the city and could not believe I'd left my gloves and earmuffs at home! My face and fingers were numb. This is how the Christmas season should be!

On Thanksgiving (after I got home from the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade!) we ate our little Thanksgiving meal and then put up a tree!! It's only 2 ft tall, but who cares. It's a tree! And it's super cute. In case you can't tell, the base of it is a little red boot trimmed in white.
Bless JP for putting up with me and my crazy decorating. It seems like every couple of days I either come home with something new or I discover something else I had packed away. Today I went out for eggs and came back with stockings to hang (they're tiny ones that were only $.99, so don't judge me). The only other thing I really want to get is some sort of wreath to hang on the door. One of my favorite decorations? The light-up Santa head from Sylvia and Laura. LOVE IT.I'm also thinking that Christmas shopping is going to be so much easier (and surprisingly cheaper!) here in New York. There are so many options for unique gifts for not a lot of money. I'm getting really excited about shopping for gifts. I've started a list.

What do you want for Christmas this year?

It's a trap!

2010-09-19T14:51:00.000-07:00

I've changed a lot in the last couple of years. I can't decide if it's for the better or not...and I attribute the particular change I'm going to talk about here to JP and Colby. They would definitely say it's for the better.

I've done two things I thought I would never do. Read the entire Harry Potter series (something I actually swore I would never do) and watch the entire Star Wars saga (which I just never did seem to get around to).

Colby and I were not immediately close when we first met. We were both cast in Beauty in the Beast at MLT. I met her at call backs, and we ended being cast into two different groups. She was a napkin/wolf and I was a silly girl/dish. I bonded with my fellow silly girls and she with her napkins. However, one of my first memories of her involves her and at least one of the other napkins singing the song from Potter Puppet Pals in the dressing room.

It took me 3 years to finally read the series, and it finally happened after JP and I started dating and he and Colby would have lengthy, detailed conversations about what house I belong it. I had no clue what they meant and finally I had had it. JP went on tour, he owned the first 3 books in the series, and I had time on my hands, so I thought what the heck. I read the first 2 and figured that I probably wouldn't feel the need to buy the ones that come after 3. But then I read the third one...and I was hooked. I was very depressed about being hooked because I had abstained for so long (and maybe also because I spent grocery money on the last 4 book at Barnes & Noble)! The series really is very well written - the best part is how seemingly small things you learn in the first two books end up being super important by the end. Just really well written all the way around. (Side note: I hate the HP movies.)

But I still don't know that Potter Puppet Pals song by heart.

As far as Star Wars goes, I did really like them. My favorite moments were when I would ask a question and then JP would proceed to answer with big words that didn't seem to ever be mentioned in the actual movies...he's read all sorts of extra literature that explains all things Star Wars. The best part about having watched these movies is the fact that I now understand all of the Star Wars jokes out there!

In fact, here's a commercial that would not have been funny at all if I had not seen Star Wars. Ole Miss is currently without a mascot and is trying to decide on a new one (also something I would not have known if not for JP).

Let me also add, that I would be all about going to Dragon*Con if given the opportunity.

Who am I????

Time's slipping away.

2010-09-01T08:43:00.000-07:00

I feel like the time is just FLYING by. Just a little over 4 months until I'm officially Mrs. Ashlee Haynie.

Work is going well. I'm enjoying my new job, though it took me a few weeks to get used to. It's still very much a learning process, but enjoyable for the most part.

JP and I started a couple of registries at Bed, Bath & Beyond and Target. At first we couldn't seem to think of much to register for, since we recently moved in together so most of our things are either brand new or very gently used. But after the initial searching, my love of having new things took over and suddenly everything that wasn't brand new needed to be replaced! Thank goodness for JP, who is oh-so-logical about every choice. And every once in a while one of us will say, "Man, it's too bad we don't have a [insert object here, i.e., mattress pad, heating pad, ironing board]" and then the other will exclaim, "Add it to the registry!"

For those who don't know, JP was recently cast as an extra in Men in Black III (I was tempted to use the line from Superstar about having a chance to "be an extra in a film with positive moral values" just now). They've been using him as a model to build different alien creatures for the extras in the movie. The transformations have been pretty awesome and I can't wait to be able to post pictures! I'm so proud of him!
My mom and grandmother surprised me with a unexpected visit a couple of weeks ago. They flew in on a Wednesday and left on a Sunday. It was so cool to have them here! I did not take nearly enough pictures! I don't know how that happened, but when I loaded them onto my computer, it looked like we only visited two places. And we definitely did more than that.

Firsts.

2010-08-15T17:52:00.000-07:00

I recently had a first time experience.

Well a couple of first time experiences. First, I went to Magnolia Bakery with my friend Kaitlin. I had some vanilla bean cheesecake. It was very good, but it didn't beat cheesecake from Junior's!

So anyway, afterward I got back on the subway. I was over on the west side, an area I'm NEVER in. But as I walked onto the train and headed to sit down, I heard my name! I looked around and there was Katie, a girl I knew through my friend Molly. We couldn't believe running into each other - I mean think about how many things have to line up for that to happen! There are so many different cars, so many different lines...crazy.

I like it when New York shrinks...just a little.

It's hot! Daddy told ya...

2010-07-07T17:03:00.000-07:00

It's about that time again. Time for family to start pouring in. My bro Brandon and his girlfriend Xan (that name rocks, by the way) are arriving Thursday and then my siblings Kaley and Elijah are coming in next week. Yay!!!! I love having family visit and introducing them to my life here.

In other news it's HOT. I recently told a friend of mine that New Yorkers are just babies and that it's not really hot, compared to Georgia, but I SOOOOOOOOO take that back!! (Also...no offense to my New York friends.) Apparently the temperature yesterday broke a record. I think it's gotten up to 104 this week? I know Georgia understands this, but in Georgia you get to leave your air conditioned work place and get into your (hopefully) air conditioned cars to travel to yet another air conditioned building. Here I have to walk to the bus stop in the heat, wait for the bus (sometimes a good 20-30 minutes on bad days) in the heat, walk to the subway in the heat, then walk to my office in the heat. Thank goodness we have an air conditioner in at least one room. And thank goodness the temperature will go down sooner than it would in Georgia. Haha.

Speaking of the heat, it was pretty hot on the Fourth of July, but we had fun anyway. It was a bit of a worlds colliding day since it was three different groups of friends who somehow ended up hanging out together. It was a lot of fun. We went out to Governor's Island to see She and Him in concert for free! If you don't know She and Him, it's Matt Ward and Zooey Deschanel (from Elf and also 500 Days of Summer). They're so great! Despite the heat, they were worth the wait. Lots of fun.

JP is back!

2010-06-19T20:33:00.000-07:00

Ok, so it's been 4 weeks since JP got back...but I've yet to proclaim it via blog. It's been crazy since he got back. He returned on a Friday, then his family came to visit the following Monday. Then that next weekend I went home to go to Micah's graduation (though I didn't make it and I don't feel like going through that whole story), but then I came back on that Sunday with Mallory in tow. She spent two fabulous weeks with us and just returned home this past Monday. Things finally feel like they're getting back to normal! Whatever normal means...

But having Mal here was a lot of fun. It was her first time riding on a plane and her first time in New York. So very very fun. I love having family visit. The only thing that sucks is that I'm not on vacation so everything has to revolve around my work schedule. Ugh. But it's ok. We make do.

It's nuts to play the tourist a bunch of times in a row. I've been to the same places a lot of times now! But it's also let me get to know the city a lot better. I'm getting to where I can tell you how to get to different places without consulting my iPhone. I have a general idea of which trains stop at which stations. If we're somewhere unfamiliar, but I see a subway station ahead, I have the confidence to say, "Eh, let's just get on a train here and figure it out." It's so much fun when you know what you're doing!

Random weekend home.

2010-04-22T17:48:00.000-07:00

Two Mondays ago I was feeling very down. Distance from JP is hard when I'm living in a brand new city by myself. Thankfully, I do have my fellow Georgian friend Molly living up here and we try to hang out a lot, but it's not like we can hang out every day. So for the most part I wake up, go to work, come home, figure out something easy to eat, watch some TV, play on the internet, go to sleep alone...Repeat. Don't get me wrong, I love living here. It's not like I'm second guessing moving here. It's just not the same being here by myself.

But I digress...back to two Mondays ago. I was feeling very down in the dumps and I couldn't stop myself from putting up a woe-is-me status on Facebook about wishing I could go home for a couple of days. (You should know that normally I despise it when I see other statuses of this kind, but we all stumble sometimes, don't we?) Well before I knew it, my flight attendant friend Ollie had me on a flight home for the following weekend.

It was really great to go home for no good reason. It had been two and a half months of seeing no family, of missing out on certain foods, of not riding in or driving a car...the weekend was just very magical.

Saturday I went to visit with my future mother-in-law for a little while. I'm incredibly lucky to get along with JP's mom so well. Before I even knew JP, I respected her so much. She's a great lady with great talent and I have always enjoyed being around her. How could I not love her when she was playing the matchmaker without me even knowing it?

Later I grabbed lunch at Chick-fil-A (oh and I'd also had it for breakfast) with Amy and Becky. I've missed them so much. It was fun chatting about everything and nothing and sending Becky into the Twilight Zone. And I got to meet Amy's sweet baby! She is just too precious. I debated sticking in my suitcase, but decided against it.

I got my Zaxby's for supper, then completely surprised Lisa by showing up at her apartment. Definitely an amazing moment.

Sunday I went to church and sang a song. I kind of got choked up a little when I first got to the microphone to practice...I guess I miss singing a whole lot more than I realized. And I guess my vocal chords did too - it was a little rough at first! That's one thing about not having a car...I used to sing nonstop if I was driving by myself. And also if I was driving with someone. But I'm not about to belt it on the subway or the bus with my earphones in. That would be crazy.

The rest of the day was spent shopping with my sisters and my mom. I really miss them a lot. And my mom was amazing about this whole thing. Her response to my coming home proposal? "Hell yes!" I know it's hard for her to send me off on my own and to know that it's not always easy for me, but she has made it so easy for me. She is so supportive, no matter what, and is always there when I need her (if she misses my phone call, she beats herself up for it, but she always calls back pretty quickly!). I had to catch a 6am flight Monday morning and who got up at 2:30 with me? My mom. I know it sucked to have to put me on a plane again, but she did it anyway. Seriously the best Noni Lamb I know.

So yeah, that was all pretty great. And now I'm super pumped about Colby visiting this weekend. We will be painting our own garden gnomes. Amazing.

First big trial...

2010-03-25T05:03:00.000-07:00

Tuesday morning JP got a message from American Family Theatre (who he's toured with before) asking if he would be willing to replace an actor for the rest of a tour...ASAP. Of course my initial gut response is "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!" But after that passed I knew he had to do it. It's miserable for an actor to not be acting. And we're always a little tight on money. So JP packed a suitcase and left on Wednesday. He won't be back until May 21. It happened so fast and I can't decide if it was better that way or not. It's something we've discussed and known could happen. I've tried to prepare for it and be ok with it. But it's not that easy.

Of course I cried a lot Tuesday night. But after a while my crying was just funny because I would stop and then if he said anything or tried to comfort me it would start all over again. And then I realized April marks our 1 yr anniversary and he would be gone (although he keeps saying we can make our anniversary a bunch of different dates, so does this really count? The anniversary we need to worry about will be our wedding anniversary anyway.) I did good Wednesday morning, but when I came home to an empty apartment, I didn't hold up as well. I was sick of crying so I fought it as much as possible by turning on Scrubs (it failed me - it was about romantic gestures and the end was sickeningly sweet with like 5 different couples being romantic), cleaning the apartment (I learned very quickly that entering the bedroom was a bad idea), and making dinner (which is not as fun to do alone).

Luckily, Carla is coming into town today. She'll be staying until Monday. This has been the plan all along so of course I told her JP said yes so that he could avoid her visit. ;-) It will be good to have some company on these rough first few days. And hopefully it won't be too hard on me when she leaves. And hopefully I won't ruin her trip by moping. Haha.

We did Skype for a little while once he got to his hotel. It was strange since the last time we did that was when he was up here in New York visiting his brother and auditioning and I was at home surrounded by family and friends. It was interesting to see how things have changed. Or to feel how things have changed. Back then when his face would pop up on my computer screen I felt a love for him that was brand new and I spent the whole time wondering where we were going and how I was realizing I couldn't live without him. Now when that video starts I feel such a deeper love. A love that I have for someone I know even better than I did before. My love for him has grown exponentially and I don't think I fully realized it until now. It still makes me excited to think about where we're going and I still realize every day that I can't live without him.

Anyway, blogging was apparently not the best idea either. It'll get better.

And so the countdown has begun. 57 days.

Major Update

2010-02-07T07:56:00.000-08:00

Well, after that first trip to New York, things just snowballed and got incredibly hectic. So if you're not sure exactly what's going on with me...here's the scoop.

Thursday, January 7, 2010: I leave work early so that JP and I can head to the airport. However, JP had been notified that our flight was canceled...yeah. The one time someone decides to send snow clouds to GA just happens to be the night that we want to fly out. But we rushed up to the airport early and managed to switch to an earlier flight. That was my first time on a plane and although it sucked as far as me still having a bit of a head cold, the view as we came up on Manhattan was just amazing. I will never forget that moment and the excitement I felt.

Friday, January 8, 2010: We got up and headed toward the financial district for my interview. However, it turns out there are two different offices for NY Laser Group and I had gone to the wrong one. So we had to travel an hour out to almost the end of Queens (Kew Gardens). But we made it and when I walked into that interview, I had pretty much already been hired. The lady interviewing me loved my resume and loved me and she already had a schedule written out for me. So she showed me around the office, asked me when I could start, then said ok see you then!

We spent the rest of the day hanging out in the city. We spent hours at the Met (I recommend that if you ever go there, plan on spending a ton of time and definitely use the coat check. I got so sick of carrying my stuff around!)

Saturday, January 9, 2010: Definitely a day to remember. This was planned as our day of fun. We headed down to Times Square and hung out a little until it was time to go see Phantom of the Opera. It was simply amazing and definitely brought on some tears. So so good. Then we decided to hang out and maybe go in some of the shops and stuff. JP also told me he wanted to show me the George M. Cohan statue. He was a major Broadway star and the only Broadway star to get a statue on Times Square. So we headed over there, took some pictures in front of it, then kind of stood trying to figure out what to do next.

So there we are, standing in the middle of Times Square with our arms around each other. JP start saying sweet things about how he can't believe we're going to live here and he can't wait to start a life with me, etc. I would also like to point out that JP says sweet things a lot, so this was nothing out of the ordinary...yet. So I just kept interrupting him saying things like, I know me too! But then all of a sudden he got down on one knee and I totally freaked. I immediately started crying and a million things ran through my mind. I couldn't believe he was doing this without a ring because how could he have a ring? He doesn't even know my size, we haven't even looked at rings, and somehow I think I would just know if he had a ring...but then I looked back at him and he was pulling a box out of his coat pocket. I'm pretty sure I was hyperventilating and he said some other stuff that I couldn't focus on enough to remember and somewhere in there he asked me to marry him and I said yes.

Of course, then a mass of phone calls ensued until finally we headed to Union Square to meet up with Michael, JP's brother, for dinner to celebrate. Stand 4, home of the Toasted Marshmallow Milkshake. BEST THING EVER.

Sunday, January 10, 2010: A day of rest. We walked around Central Park, went down to Ground Zero, and did other touristy things. A great day.

Monday, January 11, 2010: We looked at apartments. We saw three of them and completely fell in love with one of them. The broker told us we could do everything by overnight mail and that we could be in by February 1. We said ok, let's do.

So there's definitely more to the apartment story. It was very stressful dealing with a board, the broker, and the landlord, all seemingly not dealing with each other...but after a lot of stress and a little tears, we are finally in our apartment. Haha. And we love it so much. I posted some pictures on Facebook and I'm sure there will be more to come.

Chick-fil-A

2009-12-23T06:54:00.000-08:00

I believe I've mentioned that there is one Chick-fil-A in New York. It's located in a dining hall at NYU. At first I was told that I might could sneak in somehow...but recently I heard that that particular building does not check IDs. So as long as I walk in confidently, I shouldn't be questioned.

While this is a plus (and hopefully I'll have success getting in), I still worry about the lack of Chick-fil-As in my area. But now I have a new ambition...to figure out the recipe and make it myself. I think I can do it. And the first step has already been taken...Colby bought me a little fryer for Christmas!! So now I can maybe make my own Chick-fil-A chicken and hey, if not, who doesn't love frying stuff?

Officially in freak out mode.

2009-12-17T13:15:00.000-08:00

I got a call from a LASIK/cataract center in NYC saying they've received my resume and they would like to set up an interview. Holy crap! It's not like I thought that wouldn't happen, but still...it's happened and now I feel crazy.

So January 8 at 1:00 will help determine a lot of things. I need this interview so I can get an idea of what kind of salary I'll be getting in New York. I need to know what kind of salary I'll be getting so that I can know how much money we can spend on an apartment. I need to know how much money we can spend on an apartment so that we can find an apartment. We need to find an apartment so that we can move already!

I don't mean to sound like I'm ready to move and don't care about what I'm leaving behind (because, believe me, it's very bittersweet). I just hate the preparation and having to deal with the unknown. I'm just ready to have it done and over with so that we can move forward.

January 8. 1:00

Please give me a job.

Resume done!

2009-12-12T12:51:00.001-08:00

I was stressing about having to do a resume because I really hate trying to remember when I worked where. And I was dreading trying to list everything I do at my current job (which is a lot). But then I got on my computer and voila! I found a resume I'd saved on here after I graduated. All I had to do was update it. And on top of that, I remembered that I'd actually already made a list of my work talents in an email I sent to the office so I just copied and pasted. Yessss. Resume? Done.

So now that my grandparents know about the move, now that JP and I have definitive plans to look for an apartment, now that I'm actually talking to an office there about a job...it's really hitting me. Every day I think about the things I'm going to miss. So...here's a list of a few of them.

1. My family. Duh. In 24 years, I've never lived more than a couple of hours from any of my immediate family. And for 20 of those years, I've lived with them. We're all so close and, truth be told, I'm terrified of not having them to run to. I really am. That's not to say that I don't think I can do it, because I know I can, but it will definitely be the biggest adjustment and it will be accompanied with lots of tears. And Bruno will also be missed. He loves me so completely and unconditionally. And he lets me dress him up.

2. My friends. I am a people person. I like to be liked. I love hanging out with groups of people and having fun with them. I like having friends who I can tell anything to and know I won't be judged. I like having friends who only want the best for me. It will be sad not to be able to call up Lisa, Doug, and Niccole and plan a weekend in the mountains together. It will be sad not to be here for Amy's kid. It will be sad not to be able to call Becky up for drinks. It will be sad not to try and see my FPD friends every few months (haha). I have to start all over!

3. Colby. I've never felt closer to another female. She is truly my twin, inside and out. I love that we can talk about anything that comes to mind, no matter how stupid. I love that we tend to like/dislike the same people. I love that she still likes to act like a kid with me. I don't know what I'm going to do without her.

4. Chick-fil-A. Yes, this list is in a specific order. I could eat there multiple times a day (and have) and for several days in a row (and have). There is only one Chick-fil-A in New York, located in the dining hall of NYU so I'm not even allowed in. Will I attempt to sneak in? Of course. There are also locations in New Jersey. Will JP and I take a bus into Jersey at least once a month? Of course.

5. My accent. As much as I say I won't let it happen, I have to face the facts. I tend to talk and pick up the mannerisms of people around me. I think I'll be able to keep a trace of it, but I'm pretty sure I won't be able to keep it up completely. I am very saddened by this, and not looking forward to the speech lessons my mother will undoubtedly give me over the phone.

6. Theatre. I have really enjoyed my time on the stage. I have now had experience as a main role, as well as being in the chorus and honestly I don't like one more than the other. They are both so fun-I just love being on stage and singing. But I have no desire to do it profesionally. So I'll miss doing it in the community.

7. Snow days. Every winter I live in hope of snow because it means I won't have to go into work. I doubt that will matter in New York...

I'll post updates of more things I'll miss as I think of them.

A job, perhaps?

2009-12-11T04:25:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago, I was given the email address of an optometrist in NYC. I emailed her, told her who I was (she'd been warned I'd be contacting her), and explained everything I do at my current job. That was a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving. Yesterday at lunch, I told JP that I needed to start looking at jobs online again. I'd pretty much given up on hearing from the NYC doctor.

Then yesterday afternoon I got an email! She said she thinks they can probably find something for me, then gave me the name and number of the office manager. Well of course, I called HER as soon as I could. So the manager asked me when I'll be in New York (Jan 8-12), when I plan to move (we're targeting February, but if I get a job before then we're willing to reconsider), and then she asked me to send her my resume and she'll give me a call back. I looked up the name of the place in the email and it's basically a LASIK/cataract center...which is what I know best!

Oh my gosh. I might have a job in New York City. This is real.

Moving to NYC!

2009-12-06T19:27:00.000-08:00

I haven't blogged in a long time, but I'd like to start back. Some people scoff at bloggers who only write about their daily lives. But in light of the huge life changes that are about to happen, I want to talk about it.

I will soon be moving to New York. I've lived in middle Georgia for 24 years. Born and raised. I have only traveled further from the surrounding states once. It was to New York on a school trip, so I was very limited in what I got to see and do. And now I've met and fallen in love with a wonderful man whose plan has always been to live in NYC so that he can audition on Broadway. And he's good enough to make it. And I've always wanted to live in New York. And I can't let him move up there and leave me here. So off to New York we go!

My family has been great. They have those concerns you'd expect any parent to be concerned about. But they're happy for me and 100% supportive. My grandparents aren't quite 100%, but ultimately, they want me to be happy too I think.

We've just picked dates in January to fly up there and look at apartments. We'd like to live in Astoria in Queens. It's cheaper than Manhattan and you get more square footage. We'll see when we get up there!

Damn pollen.

2009-03-29T08:58:00.000-07:00

I've never had much trouble with allergies. Every year I've listened to people complain about how awful the pollen is this year and which allergy medication works best. But I was blissfully unaware of how it really feels.

This year made up for all of those years! I've had this lingering cough, a runny nose, constant sneezing, pressure headaches, the works. I think that my immune system might be down, since it's March and I've already been sick three times this year.

Time to get healthy again.

One second.

2008-10-19T18:35:00.000-07:00

One day last week I was sitting at work bored. I was in my office (and I use the word "my" loosely, since it's technically Kenniane's office) at the desk putting some charts together. I was also keeping an eye on the clock because I was practically begging five o'clock to roll around.

At some point I took yet another glance at the clock and happened to see the second hand move backwards. It hit the 59 second line, then moved BACK to the 58 line, before going forward again as though nothing happened.

For some reason I returned to my charts as though this was no big deal. But since doing charts requires little to no brain power, my mind started to wander. Was I just given an extra second in my day? If so, I really didn't appreciate it. And also, maybe I could've gotten a little warning. I mean, I'd say having one extra second added to my day is a pretty magical occurrence and what did I do with it? I wasted it. I had no idea it was coming. I wish my extra second could have been celebrated. Instead, I pretended like it didn't even happen.

Then again, maybe it didn't.

Coffee is better than I thought.

2008-09-27T06:00:00.001-07:00

So I was bored when I got up this morning because absolutely no one is at my house. So I've been using Stumble to surf the web (or the interweb, as my dad has started saying for some reason). A minute ago I stumbled onto http://www.industrialjoe.com/index.php/resources-news-links-friends/15-things-youdidnt-know-about-coffee which is very interesting because I LOVE coffee. I am a very devoted coffee drinker and basically can't make it through a morning without it. I can seriously tell a difference if I don't have it. I'm aware that is sad, but hey, it's ok according to this website!

I'm not going to copy and paste everything over there, but I here are a couple of the more interesting ones.

If you smoke or drink alcohol, then drinking coffee can lower your chances of getting heart or liver disease. WHAT?? I've been protecting myself and didn't even know it. Now the next time my conservative little sister tells me that I'm destroying my liver I'll just tell her that I'm counteracting that by drinking even more coffee than I do alcohol. Take that, little sis!

Colon cancer is not as prevalant in coffee drinkers. Are kidding me? Coffee may be able to prevent CANCER? Why hasn't anyone jumped on this and come up with a cure for cancer derived from coffee beans??

If you coursely grind coffee beans, then you can use them as an exfoliator! Rub coffee beans on your face! I'm so going to do that soon...

Boredom.

2008-09-17T18:00:00.000-07:00

I am terribly, terribly bored with nothing on my mind except serious stuff and The Holiday. And vanilla vodka. So I am resorting to the dreaded survey.

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
Yes. Strip searched. Best cop experience ever.

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coaster?
Yeah, I wouldn't want bugs to fly into them.

3. When's the last time you've been sledding?
Last Christmas when I spent a few days at the North Pole. Buddy the Elf is a crazy sled driver.

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
It depends on who that someone else is. If it were Patrick Dempsey, I'd choose with someone else. If it were Big Foot, then I'd choose alone.

5. Do you believe in ghosts?
No. But I do believe in ghostbusters.

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
At times.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Nah probably not. Didn't you see how that glove totally didn't even fit his hand? He must be innocent.

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Is that it? There's no more to the question? Am I choosing which one should die? Which one has the prettiest hair? Who has the better boobs? I simply cannot answer this unfinished question.

9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics?
Sure. I know there are different parties... and we vote... and people get hateful... and people get stupid...

10. Do you know how to play poker?
Yes, but my skills are questionable.

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Dear God, I hope not. Amen.

12. What's your favorite commercial?
I love commercials too much to choose just one... but right now I especially enjoy the Burger Kind commercial where The King puts money in people's pockets.

13. Who was your first love?
Your dear beloved mother, biatch.

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around you, do you run a red light?
No. But today I flew through a stop sign on a back road because I didn't realize it was there.

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
No.

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
I'm wearing red socks right now.

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
Yeah, last Christmas at the North Pole. Buddy the Elf is a mean ice skater.

18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Very often. And they're weird.

19. What's the one thing on your mind?
One thing? Unfortunately there are many things. One random thing is what I'm going to name my future children.

20. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Nah. Only when I'm in the car.

21. What talent do you wish you had?
Standing on my head. I simply can't do it.

22. Do you like Sushi?
I tried this one kind once but I don't remember what it was called and I'm not about to try and order it and then be disappointed.

23. What do you wear to bed?
Panties.

24. Do you truly hate anyone?
Nah.

25. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
Michael Rosenbaum.

26. Do you know anyone in jail?
No.

27. What food do you find disgusting?
Spam. If that even qualifies as food.

28. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
Yes. But only after I made fun of them to their face.

29. Have you ever been punched in the face?
Pssh, no.

30. Do you believe in angels and demons?
I do.

What's in a name?

2008-09-08T19:29:00.000-07:00

In case you do have a life and hence missed the premier of America's Next Top Model, there is a girl on there named Clark. Oddly enough I like it. Clark works for a girl. But it got me thinking about what names might not work for females...

Guy - it implies the person with this name is, in fact, a dude.
Harry - it's ok for guys to be hairy, but girls?
Adam - he was the first male. Enough said.
Peter - it brings to mind a certain part of the male anatomy.
Earl - it's also a prestigious title for a male. Plus it just doesn't fit.
Fabio - well, this one might be ok since it does bring to mind a model with long, blonde, flowy hair on the cover of a slutty romance novel.
Any name beginning with an X (i.e. Xavier) - I have no explanation. I just can't imagine a girl with a name that starts with an X.

It's really hard to come up with a list of male-only names. People are naming their kids crazy names these days. What's really strange to think about is the day when kids like Apple, Cocoa, and Kingston will be naming their kids. And they'll be thinking, "I don't want to name her something like Ashley, Brittany, or Jessica because those are old people names."

I wonder if they'll start naming their kids Ethel or Penelope or Mildred because by then no one will have those names.

Anything can happen if you use your imagination...

2008-08-27T20:41:00.000-07:00

I am horrible at time management. Really horrible. I've known that I'm leaving tomorrow morning (Thursday) and not coming back until Monday (Labor Day) and what did I do? I put off packing until 11:00 tonight. Ugh. It's done though. And now I should go to bed. But instead I will tell you about the make believe games I played as a child.

I have 6 brothers and sisters who made for great playmates. However the games that stick out most in my mind involved the four oldest of us. Brandon, Kaley, Brittany and me. Brittany and I are 5 years apart so the four of us are very close in age. I realized today that all of our games were based on either a TV show or a movie. Isn't that nice.

1. The Independence Day Game. When I was in 2nd or 3rd grade we went through a stage where every day we'd pull out the couch bed in the living room and watch a movie. It was usually Independence Day, though I don't know why. Then we made up a game where one person sat in the middle of the bed and the other people (the aliens) would get under the bed and beat on the bottom of the bed with our feet (which was probably not good for the bed now that I think about it). The beating would hopefully make the person bounce around on top and therefore put them within range for one of the aliens to grab them from underneath.

2. Power Rangers. This was around the same time as the first game. I was always Kimberly, the pink ranger. Brandon was always Jason, the red ranger and the leader. Kaley was always Billy, the blue ranger (who, incidentally, was a boy...). Brittany always wanted to be Kimberly, but we'd tell her she either had to be Trini, the yellow ranger (who, coincidentally, was Asian), or she could be the monster that we had to fight. Most of the time she'd give in and be Trini, but sometimes she'd just get mad and say she wasn't playing. She'd go to another corner of the yard to play by herself and we'd just pretend she was the monster anyway and attack her. We jumped around, kicked at each other, and leaped off the swingset. Every time we'd hit the ground we knew to roll about 10 feet because that's what they did on the show.

3. Street Kids. This came from us watching Free Willy every day. And this was when I was probably in 5th grade. Maybe 6th. There wasn't much to this game. We'd just get empty backpacks and put crackers and stuff in them, sling them over one shoulder, and ride our bikes around. We'd always pretend we stole a cake, then we'd put pretend ketchup on it, then the cops would come and we'd have to scram. And someone always pretended to step in the cake as we ran away.

4. Orphanage. My favorite. This came from watching Annie. The land we lived on at the time was surrounded by 5 or six rows of pine trees. We'd get in there and rake the pine straw in such a way that we created pathways and rooms with it.That was our orphanage. We each had our own room. Every time we played, we'd have a new kid (usually Kaley), the cop that brings the new kid (who would double as another orphan - Brittany), the seen-it-all-knows-it-all kid who's been there forever (Brandon), the lady who runs the orphanage (me), and the drunken cook (also me). Oh yes, I would make their food and accidentally spill alcohol into it. I don't know where I got that from.

Sounds like fun, huh?

Southern comfort.

2008-08-19T17:30:00.000-07:00

A lady at work today paid me a high, albeit odd, compliment. Well, I wouldn't say it was a compliment. It was more of a comment that just made me feel good. When I go get a patient to take them to whatever test I'm about to do with them, I introduce myself first. "My name's Ashlee and we're just gonna go get this OCT done" or something along those lines.

Well today when I introduced myself to one woman, she said, "Your name is Ashlee? Well isn't that a nice southern name!"

That just made me SO HAPPY. I love being southern. I love the south. I love that it's obvious to northern folk that I'm from the south. And I love that a woman said my name is southern! I mean I know the truth: my name is not a southern name. It's Old English. But hey, I guess people associate my name with Ashley Wilkes, the man Scarlett O'Hara fancied herself in love with in Gone with the Wind. (Clarification: I don't think she was ever in love with Ashley, just in love with the thought of being in love with him.)

Also I'm glad someone didn't comment on my southern name because it's something like Ella Mae or Bobby Ann.

I apologize in advance.

2008-08-18T18:50:00.000-07:00

NEWS FLASH: MICHAEL PHELPS IS NOT ATTRACTIVE.

I know, I know, all of your mouths are gaping in shock, but it's true. I keep hearing about how Michael Phelps is so hot and his swimmer's body is just so amazing. But I was watching him the other night when he got his 8th gold medal and I saw him on the news this morning. I've seen him before, but I guess I just didn't really take notice of whether or not he's cute. He's not. His torso is freakishly long, he has big ears, his mouth is humongous (and he always seems to have it open), and the top of his body is bigger than the bottom half. I will say he has nice abs. But they lie to close to his speedo and then I just get turned off again.

So snap those jaws shut and move on with your lives.

But hey, congrats on those medals, Mikey. And on the whole world record thing. Lord knows I couldn't do it. Good job on proving you don't have to be pretty to be an Olympic Gold Medalist. (Should those words be capitalized? *shoulder shrug* Whatever. I just dissed Michael Phelps so rage will distract them from noticing such things.)

What's love got to do with it?

2008-08-11T15:53:00.000-07:00

Who the hell made up the game of tennis?

My brother Elijah is obsessed with the game of tennis. Months ago he attempted to explain the rules and scoring of the game but I was completely lost after "when you have a score of zero, then it's love." Huh?

This past weekend I went and watched Elijah play two sets... or is it matches... I don't know, he played against two different people and each time someone had to win six games two out of three times. Does that even make sense? It barely does in my head.

Anyway, I at least learned the scoring part of it. But I still don't understand why it is the way it is. My conclusion? Out of all the games involving a ball, tennis was the last one invented. By the time Mr. Tennis got around to coming up with a new ball game, all the rules and scoring had been used. So he had to come up with something completely crazy in order not to sound like a knock off of another already-invented game. Well way to make up a game that makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE, Mr. Tennis.

Here's what does make sense:
1. Two players (raqueteers?) use a raquet to hit a ball over a net.
2. If the ball goes out of the big square, it's out and the other player scores.
3. You have to win by two.
4. When you serve, it must go to the opposite square on the other side (this one's a little iffy since it sounds like a random rule thrown in there for the heck of it).

Here's what doesn't make sense:
1. The scoring is not normal in that it goes 1, 2, 3, etc. Or even in twos or fives or tens. It's completely random in that it goes from zero to 15 to 30 to 40. And then that's it.
2. When it's zero, you can't even call it zero. You call it love. What?
3. When it's tied, you don't say 15-15, but you say 15-All. Ok.
4. When it's tied at forty, you don't even say 40-All. You say Deuce.
5. After Deuce, there are no numbers anymore. Since you have to win by two... point units... then depending on who gets the next point, you call it an Add In or an Add Out. Then if the opposite person scores the next time, you're back to calling it Deuce.

Are you lost yet? If you're not then you at least like tennis enough to know how to follow it or you are related to someone who makes you feel obligated to know what's going on.

Of course, this is all coming from a person who grew up in a football-loving family but never learned the scoring until her senior year of high school. I didn't have the faintest idea about first downs until someone kindly clued me at a HOCO game. The only football terms I knew were "touchdown," "field goal," and "go Jackets."

Guilty as charged.

2008-08-09T16:06:00.000-07:00

Everyone has little guilty pleasures that they indulge themselves in every now and then. I know I have mine. Lately I have overindulged a little. Wanna hear about them?

1. Girls Next Door. You know, the TV show on E! with Hef and his three girlfriends? Holly, Bridget, and Kendra? I LOVE this show (much to the disappointment of Colby). It's kind of like watching a train wreck - I sit there cracking up at their idiocy and thinking the whole time how the HELL do they live like that?? Aside from the fact that Hef is pushing 100, I can't imagine sharing my boyfriend of any age with another woman, let alone two. And half the time his ex-girlfriends are coming in and out of the house too. Oh and poor Kendra, who has to be number 3. Every time the four of them are sitting or standing together somewhere, Bridget and Holly flank Hef while Kendra gets stuck on the other side of Bridget. Now tell me, how can you not love this show?

2. Trashy romance novels. I like them as trashy as they can get. Don't get me wrong, I love the nice normal novels by people like Jodi Picoult and Colby Marshall. But sometimes I just have to deviate and read one of the trashiest novels about love and romance I can get my hands on. It doesn't last for long since after a while you feel like you're reading the same story over and over again, but for a while there they are great.

3. Cemetaries. I know right? And not just at Halloween. I find cemetaries so peaceful (gee, I wonder why?) and so very INTERESTING. In college I took a local history class where we went all around Milledgeville and learned a lot of history (obviously). When we went to the cemetary I was just fascinated by the stories that went with it. And it was historically interesting too because there were a few famous people buried there. I don't know why, but I just love going and reading the headstones and looking at the crazy statues.

Those are the three major guilty pleasures off the top of my head. I'm sure there are more though.

Caffeine and Abba

2008-07-28T19:45:00.000-07:00

I am hyped up on caffeine and Abba.

Mamma Mia! was AMAZING. Pierce Brosnan sang. Yikes. I mean, it was just a little weird to see my favorite James Bond belting out S.O.S. However, despite the awkardness he still carries himself so well that I can totally look past the cheesy seriousness he was portraying.

In personal news, I am enjoying a night off from the run of Guys and Dolls. In it I play a Hot Box Girl. It's really quite scandalous. Well, it gets most scandalous when the hot box girls take pictures after the Take Back Your Mink number...when we are wearing leotards (or spankotards as we like to call them), tights, and fish net thigh highs (or fish highs as we like to call them).

Before:

After: